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Do you know
why romance and sensuality novels for women are so popular?
Short answer: The authors know exactly how to give women THAT FEELING.
That feeling has many facets and they are ALL good for her. She tingles with the flirtatiousness of the conversation. She blushes at the boldness and sensual innuendo.
She craves the
The sexual polarity and tension has her on pins and needles of pleasure.
She is aching for the climactic release from this torture.
And he doesn't quite get it. He can read the same passage and have a lukewarm response.
Sure, it's a little titillating. But,
it's not the kind of "romance" language he has told me he is longing for. He is a long time, married man who is just dying to star in a different scene.
Just as he struggles to understand her emotional reaction to those scenes written for her, she can also be clueless about his deepest desires. And it's NOT a sex scene.
To him, it seems she just
doesn't get why or doesn't care why reading THIS scene will almost ALWAYS bring a tear to his eye and a lump in his throat.
More than anything, he wants THAT FEELING and only she has the power give it.
The Romance Story That Can Make Men Cry
"They were finally alone. He had been looking forward to doing this
for months and she finally agreed to a getaway for just the two of them. The kids were with grandma and they will finally have a chance to reconnect as a man and woman - not as dad and mom.
Their truck was cruising west on the hot desert highway into a beautiful sunset as one of their favorite songs from high school came on the radio. They both started humming the song and broke into the chorus at
the exact same time. They both laughed and smiled without talking as the song ended. After another few miles, she gently reached across the top of the bench seat and her hand her found the back of his head. Her fingers rolled and massaged through his hair as she delivered the most loving half-scratch, half-massage treatment he hadn't felt in a long time.
He caught her looking at him out of the
side of his eye and said, "What's that look for?"
She kept eye contact and grinned as she said, "This was such a good plan. I'm so happy you're my man. Thank you making me go on this trip. We both need this, don't we?"
As they pulled into Vegas that night, he realized he had not even noticed the last 100
miles. While his truck found its own way, he had been traveling on Cloud Nine."
She's Thinking, "Yeah, right!"
Many women reading this will think I'm full of crap. The men know I'm not.
Remember, the leading man in that story has been married for 14 yrs., 3 kids aged 13, 11, and 9, and he lives in a rat race of work, relatives, friends, home maintenance, and weekend
Sure, his sex life could be better. He wishes it was better. He has even looked at some REAL porn.
But that's not what he longs for in his heart. It isn't the loss of sexual intimacy that causes the tear and the lump to form.
It's the loss of his emotional and sensual connection with his only romantic partner in life. He craves her presence,
respect, and trust. She is the only woman who has the power to lift him up and make him want to conquer the world for her.
Yet he feels that she no longer wants to be that woman for him. She gives herself and her energy to just about anyone but him. And it makes him sad. It makes him fearful of his future. The sadness and fear show up in his life as anger.
The Truth Behind His Anger
If his wife is ever going to "get it", she will need to learn about some of the reasons for his anger.
Anger of this type is a secondary emotion. It is a reaction to the THOUGHTS of what he believes he has lost and of the fear of where he thinks he will wind up.
The dream of "happily ever after" for most men includes the idea of a long-term, committed,
romantic, and sexual relationship with a woman who shares his values and desire to maintain a healthy, trusting, respectful, and intimate relationship.
The dream is full of good feelings, supportive words, and loving actions. For many men, it feels like this dream is dying right in front of them and they have no way to stop it.
I know. Same goes for many women. I speak to that in this article.
Can he be more supportive? Yep.
Can he be more caring and sensitive? Yep.
Can he take more responsibility for planning and getting things done? Yep.
working hard at being better. He wants to be a man that HE can be proud of.
He wants a woman who is outwardly proud of him and openly appreciates him.
Most days all he needs to keep working is a good head scratch and a loving vote of confidence.
What is She Thinking and What Should He Do?
Stay tuned for a special email tomorrow giving
a woman's heartfelt and deeply insightful viewpoint.
Tomorrow, Grace Cooley, (Certified Hypnotherapist, Registered Psychotherapist, Ordained Minister, Metaphysical Counselor), tackles this questions from her heart and years of experience working with wives who wish they could say exactly what she does!To Better Life and
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