Tarot Tips: Narcissism and Tarot
Published: Sun, 01/01/17
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![]() Newsletter of The Tarot School
http://TarotSchool.com ISSN: 1529-0565 Vol. 9 #1 / January 1, 2017
In this Issue: - Welcome
- Tarot Tip: 7 Stages of Consciousness Spread
- Tarot School Aphorism
- What’s Gnu? - Guest Article: Tarot Counseling, Skills, & Ethics (Part 2) - PsychWise: Narcissism and Tarot - Upcoming Events
Welcome to a new issue of Tarot Tips!
And a special welcome to our new subscribers.
![]() brings about change or improvement to our lives. While some changes are continuations of things from previous years, others are of the type that we intend. These intentions can be behavioral, environmental or sometimes even physical. At the start of any new year, an improvement to physical wellness comes to the top of many resolution lists. The new year can also be a time to reset and refresh our outlook for the year ahead. This requires an overview of where you are now, where you have been, and the path of progress or evolution you intend. In this issue the tip features a 7-position spread based on stages of consciousness as one travels the path of spiritual evolution. In PsychWise, Dr. G discusses narcissism and tarot readings, a topic you don’t want to miss; and our guest columnist, Katrina Wynne offers the second part of Tarot Counseling Skills and Ethics. We also have lots of information on upcoming activities and events. Enjoy! And one more thing...
We wish you all good things throughout the year ahead. May your blessings be many, and may you find joy in your work (and play!) with tarot. We look forward to helping with your studies, and perhaps having the pleasure of your company at Readers Studio. Let's make 2017 a year filled with loving connections and powerful magic! With love and gratitude on the tarot journey, Ruth Ann, Wald, Gina & Elinor
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STAGES OF CONSCIOUSNESS SPREAD
by Gina Thies Consciousness is a word that has been used to describe levels of awareness of internal and external stimuli. Whether used in exoteric or esoteric traditions, stages or levels of perception and/or ascension define consciousness. Issues explored in tarot typically concern day-to-day activities or problems that often require more immediate resolution. During more negative times, regardless of how spiritually evolved we come to think of ourselves, when our sense of normalcy or stability is interrupted, there is a tendency to “dip” into lower areas of consciousness. Interestingly these levels of consciousness also are believed in some models to correspond to the stages of our development. Here, levels of individual or personal consciousness are as defined by Richard Barrett’s Seven Levels Model, which is based on Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. These levels focus on needs that can range from positive to excessive. They are: • Survival (Safety/Protection) • Relationship (Sense of Love and Belonging) • Self-Esteem (Self worth/Respect) • Transformation (Becoming authentic self) • Internal Cohesion (Finding and aligning with your purpose) • Making a Difference (Send of purpose actualized with others) • Service (Selfless devotion while pursing passions or purpose) In readings, we examine how individuals can get their needs met, or how to understand the lay of the land in their current situation. In a spread using these levels as guideposts, much information can be gained about all these issues. The cards are positioned in a vertical column, starting at the bottom with positions 1, 2, 3. Card 4 is in the center, and then come cards 5, 6, 7. Card 7 is at the top. Positions Defined Position 1 (Survival) In this position your disposition toward health, nutrition, sustenance and financial stability are the focus. For instance, in matters of the heart, this could point to who or what may be providing these needs. In career or business matters, value in assets or value to organizations may be considered. Fear, anxieties and natural instincts would also be under consideration in this position. Position 2 (Relationship) For this position one would examine the importance of communication, interaction with others, co-habitation, loyalty, harmony and acceptance. How one feels is highlighted, as are how one comes to love, one’s passions and need for love and belonging. Position 3 (Self-Esteem) In this position, you would look at factors that reflect a sense of pride, self-definition and respect. Position 4 (Transformation) Here, we explore how well we manage conflicts and find a harmonious balance with higher and lower instincts. Finding one’s own voice and authority would be under consideration in this position. Position 5 (Internal Cohesion) Authenticity and the pursuit of deeper knowledge would be highlighted here. In some cases, spiritual topics would be the focus. An appetite to “know thyself” may be felt with great urgency Position 6 (Making a Difference) In this position, selflessness and compassion are brought into focus. It is no longer a matter of “me” but of “we”. Position 7 (Service) A passion for making a difference turns into selfless acts, and these hopefully lead to lifetime fulfillments. Managing a plethora of information, skills and knowledge is typically mastered. This position serves as the key to understanding life purpose and missions. This spread can be very helpful in examining issues both large and small, both immediate and long-term. Tarot School Aphorism ![]() ![]() KEEP THE PARTY GOING!
It's time for our annual Tarot School Holiday Party! This year it's on Wednesday, January 11th. Once again, Sasha Graham and her talented husband, Bill Brady have created a wonderful and whimsical "movie poster" announcement / invitation! If you're in the NYC area, we'd love to see you there! Be sure to RSVP to: [email protected] to get all the important details. ![]() P.S. If you haven't seen Stranger Things yet, we highly recommend it. Guest Article
by Katrina Wynne, MA, CTM, CTI, CLC TAROT COUNSELING, SKILLS & ETHICS Part 2: Understanding Boundaries “Boundaries define who we are to ourselves and to others
as a clear delineation of our space, be it emotional, psychic, spiritual or physical. Respecting your own as well as a client’s boundary is a significant concern within the Tarot reading relationship.” — An Introduction to Transformative Tarot Counseling, by Katrina Wynne When engaging in a session with others, the reader, in addition to their knowledge of the Tarot cards and skill in reading, has a responsibility to care for details around and within the session that influence its quality and effectiveness. For the second segment in this 3-part series on Tarot Counseling, Skills, & Ethics, we turn our focus to “Boundaries”…for the reader as well as the querent. I could write an entire book on this important topic, but for now will share some highlights with you in the Tarot Tips Newsletter. Here is a partial list of counseling boundaries excerpted from my book, An Introduction to Transformative Tarot Counseling with additional notes: Consent — client and reader approve the conditions of their reading. This includes the type or purpose of your service, arranging an appointment time, and agreeing to the duration of the session. If either of you wish to extend the session time, you can renegotiate the time/price or create a follow up session. Payment/Exchange — along with the consent to work together is an agreement on the exchange for your service. Be clear and consistent when quoting a price for each service. Depending on your level of trust or confidence in the transaction, a deposit or full payment can be requested when the appointment is made, with a refund policy that is readily available for review. Privacy — the reading is offered in an appropriate location. Sessions can be provided in a secluded area, such as a private office, or a psychic fair surrounded by other booths. Even public settings can feel private if arranged in a sensitive manner. Psychic space — honoring the client’s limits on information or topics. The cards or your intuition may be screaming about what could be important information in the reading, but the client determines what they are open to receiving. There are ways to test the boundaries in the moment by asking the client if they are open to receiving information that may be disturbing, etc., before sharing certain details. Confidentiality — no disclosure of the client’s name or personal information by the reader. The exception to this is if you request permission to share information. Be sure to get a written or recorded release from the client and be specific about what you can share. Dual relationships or roles — when a reader has two or more kinds of roles (family, friend, co-worker) concurrently with a client, watch for any conflict of interest. Many readers get their start my practicing with family and friends, but it is paramount to honor their boundaries and keep their confidences. Conflict of interest — tainted by the possibility of favoritism or personal gain. Remaining neutral and silent is a great counseling skill. Also, knowing when to speak up about possible conflicts between yourself and your client, and making a referral to another reader on occasion, if necessary. Scope of practice — working within the reader’s area of expertise or professional credential. If you are not a health, financial, or legal professional, best not to slip into that role. Be prepared to make referrals to appropriate professionals that you trust. Reader’s self-disclosure — revealing information of a private nature may or may not be appropriate. Readers are often tempted to share stories from their own life, or a previous client’s story, to illustrate the message of the reading, but discretion and honoring confidentiality should be applied. Here are important questions you may wish to ask yourself: • What are my boundaries as a reader? • What will I not do in a session? It is important to do some soul-searching on your part to determine the most honest response to each of these questions. I believe that to be your very best as a reader, you need to know your limitations as well as your gifts and expertise. Having this clarity and transparency will naturally attract those clients who will appreciate your assistance. I highly recommend having promotional materials ready to distribute, or posted on your website. They can include the following: Code of Ethics — a series of statements that reflect the tone of your service, your values, and your boundaries. Tarot (or other service) Philosophy — talk about your reading style, your beliefs, details about your boundaries. You can also include religious or spiritual beliefs and philosophies that influence your work. List of Services and Prices — be sure to include the duration in time for each service and its particular price. Some readers base their price for all readings strictly on the time period, while others may be service specific, such as an email reading with two questions. Comparing your prices to equally experienced practitioners in your area is a good place to start so you do not over or under price for similar services. This is a personal choice to consider. Your prices may vary depending upon whether you have an office setting or are reading at a psychic fair. The key is being transparent and up front with your services and prices in each venue. In addition, when addressing Scope of Practice issues be sure to have easy access to your referral list. Professional Referral List — a list of professionals, such as financial, legal, mental, and health advisors, with whom you feel secure in making referrals to clients. In the February Tarot Tips Newsletter, I will complete this 3-part series on counseling skills reviewing additional “ethical considerations,” including legal and business guidelines. Feel free to send questions you may have for me to the Tarot Tips team. ============================================================ ![]() is an internationally renowned Transformative Tarot Counselor™ and trained psychotherapist with 45 years’ experience living the wisdom of Tarot. Katrina will be a featured presenter at the 2017 Tarot & Psychology Conference! Contact Katrina at: www.TarotCounseling.org - website www.MySacredJourney.org - weblog www.OracleSoup.org - podcast www.Facebook.com/katrina.wynne/ ![]() The 2017 Readers Studio is coming soon!
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PsychWise – Tarot & Psychology Q & A with Elinor Greenberg, PhD, CGP, CPTR NARCISSISM AND TAROT I have been thinking a lot about Narcissism lately and many of the misconceptions that the average person has, such as the belief that highly narcissistic individuals are actually more confident than most people. I thought I would share some basic information about Narcissism here, and then relate it to reading Tarot. I am often asked: “Isn’t everyone a little bit narcissistic?” The short answer is “no,” or at least not in the same way. From a therapist’s point of view, there is a vast difference between healthy narcissism and defensive, pathological Narcissism—or narcissism with a small “n” and Narcissism with a capital “N.” To avoid confusion, I prefer to reserve the word “Narcissistic” for those people who are continually pre-occupied with regulating their shaky self-esteem. Here are some useful basic definitions that demonstrate this difference. Healthy normal, narcissism: This is a realistic sense of positive self-regard. It is relatively stable because it has been earned. It is based on recognizing one's actual talents and having overcome significant obstacles. It also involves recognizing where we have fallen short and where we lack expertise or talent. People with healthy self-regard can tolerate being wrong and they can apologize to others. Pathological, defensive Narcissism: This is actually an attempt to shore up one's shaky self-esteem by insisting that we are unrealistically perfect, special, unique and entitled to special treatment. This is a defense against an equally unrealistic idea that we may actually be totally worthless garbage. When someone is using their sense of specialness as a defense, they cannot tolerate being criticized, are hyper-sensitive to anything that does not reinforce their sense of specialness, and are unlikely to be able to muster enough self-support to apologize to anyone for anything.This type of Narcissism is an adaptation to an early childhood situation that reinforced the idea that anything less than special and perfect was not good enough, and where public shaming was used to control the child’s behavior. Narcissists are like everyone else: some are charming, witty, intelligent, with a great sense of humor, and do a lot of good out in the world; others are the opposite or somewhere in between. But all Narcissists have a few things in common: • They are preoccupied with self-esteem regulation. • They continually build Status Hierarchies in which they place everyone they meet either above them or below them. • They compete to defeat (They take a sadistic pleasure in publically defeating opponents and shaming them). • They use Grandiosity (“I am special”), Devaluing (“You are worthless”), and Proximity to anyone and anything they consider prestigious (“This is special”) as their major ways of supporting their self-esteem. • They are low on empathy. • They are highly sensitive to anything that they regard as a slight to their sense of perfection and importance. All of the above makes true intimacy very difficult for people with Narcissistic Adaptations and they rarely have successful long-term marriages. Devaluation and the 5 of Swords: Compete to Defeat In my opinion, the most clearly Narcissistic card in the entire Rider-Waite-Smith deck is the 5 of Swords. This card shows a man holding three swords, with two on the ground at his feet. He appears to be gloating. We see two other men facing away from him who presumably are the ones that he has defeated and whose swords he has taken. One of these men is standing hunched over with his head in his hands. He is not a happy camper. I associate this card with the pleasure that highly Narcissistic individuals take in humiliating their opponents. Everyone wants to win, but not everyone wants to shame the other competitors the way many Narcissists do. Of course, this card can come up in anyone’s reading and it does not imply that the person has a Narcissistic disorder. However, if it comes up regularly in a spread position that is central or closely related to the Self, then I begin to think that the querent may have Narcissistic issues and use “Devaluing” others as a primary defense to stabilize his or her shaky self-esteem. What does this mean for me as the Reader? I recommend that you keep the following suggestions in mind while giving information to your Narcissistic querent about the reading: 1. Do not give critical feedback: When dealing with highly Narcissistic individuals who use devaluation to support themselves, I am extra careful with what I say to them. Since they need to see themselves as flawless, they are not open to any comments—however true—that they might take as criticism. 2. Skip the advice: Narcissists need to see everything that they do as perfect or they fall into self-hating, shame-based depressions. These are no fun at all! To save themselves, Narcissists blame others for everything that goes wrong. That is why true Narcissists rarely, if ever, apologize to anyone for anything. The idea that they need advice from you creates a Narcissistic injury, which will create a rift between you, and an unhappy querent who may then devalue you. And, of course, any advice from you that implies they did something wrong may be met with rage. Some querents will angrily stalk out of the reading at this point and refuse to pay you for the time you spent with them. 3. Be empathic: Say things that indicate that you understand their point of view. For example, your querent has asked for a reading about why some friend has disappeared from her life. The 5 of Swords has come up as the answer. Instead of talking about how your querent might have hurt her friend's feelings, you say: “You must have been very disappointed (or hurt, or angry, or whatever your intuition tells you that your querent is feeling) when your friend suddenly disappeared like that.” 4. Focus on Agreement: Agree with them as often as your conscience allows. Narcissists expect everyone to be on the same page as they are. They cannot understand that two people can hold different opinions about the same topic without one of them being wrong. If you disagree with your Narcissistic querent, they will take that as a criticism and go into defense mode: either grandiosely proclaiming how they know better or putting you down as a worthless Tarot reader and stupid human being. This will be very unpleasant for both of you and will diminish the chances of this querent ever coming to you for a reading again. 5. Talk about their strengths: All Narcissists, behind their confident façade, are actually quite insecure. They feel best when being complimented for what they do well. In psychotherapy, we refer to this as a “strength-based approach.” This generally works well with everyone, not just Narcissists; but not everyone needs it the way a Narcissist does. Point out cards in the spread that show these positive attributes and talk in glowing terms. This does no harm, is actually therapeutically helpful by focusing on what is real instead of mere grandiosity, and increases the likelihood that your querent will enjoy the reading and come back for more. All of the above requires that you pay at least as much attention to your Narcissistic querents as to the cards in front of you. This goes counter to many Tarot readers’ common practice. In this case, success is measured by keeping these querents happy and not further harming their precarious self-esteem. It is important to spot these Narcissistic querents as early as possible to avoid blunders. But what if the 5 of Swords does not come up in the reading and you have never met this querent previously? A quick tip: If someone seems arrogant, brags, or insists on special treatment, I assume until proven otherwise that this person is highly likely to have Narcissistic issues. ![]() is an internationally renowned Gestalt therapy trainer who specializes in teaching the diagnosis and treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid adaptations. She has been studying tarot since 1995 and is psychology consultant to The Tarot School, where she earned a Third Degree in Tarot. She is a member of B.O.T.A. (Builders of the Adytum) and has been certified as a professional tarot reader by the American Tarot Association. Dr. Greenberg is the author of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, which demystifies the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. Tarot Salon
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