Sunday, December 3, 2023

Hello, my Jingle Bell!

I'm writing to you today from the white-sand sugar bowl that is Miami Beach.

From my early morning perch on the balcony, I watch a tractor rake the beach clean.

It turns and doubles back again, raking up glossy ribbons of brown seaweed and broken shells and other litter the impish sea has dropped on the shore overnight. From the balcony you can hear the low chuckle of the waves lapping the shore in delight.

The rake also clears any evidence of footprints—of people who just yesterday were scurrying like crabs all over this manicured sugar.

Later, when we walk down the tropical path toward the ocean and emerge onto the sand, it will seem as if we are the first bipeds to walk upright on this land. Which of course we are not. Not even close.

Waves lap the shore. The ocean laughs. Rake carves tracks in the sugar. To and fro / fro and to.

It's meditative for me, watching that beach rake. Is it for the driver, too? I've never understood the point of those desktop Zen gardens and their miniature rakes. Should we add that to the list of holiday gifts...?

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Oh right! Gift ideas! The subject line of this email! 

Once a year I affix my SANNta cap on my noggin and give you my best gift picks for writers, marketers, readers—or people who love us. (Go ahead and forward this email to your people!)

This year is a little different.

The Merriam-Webster word of the year is authentic.

The choice is based on search volume and carried by a wind off the water brisk with chatter about AI, celebrity culture, identity, and social media.

Authentic, our dictionary friends write, is "hard to define and subject to debate."

The rise of AI. Deepfake videos. Actors' contracts. Academic integrity. Disclosure.

All winds signaling a sea change. We sift through the sand to find the line between "real" and "fake."

Is it the actual wind off the water? Or is it the giant fan blowing in the corner of the balcony? Is it real or is it fake?

It's called sargassum, that seaweed. Such a great word.

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So, my 2023 Holiday Reveler...

Here is my new + improved gift list for a more authentic 2023 holiday season. A mix of old and new. But all real.

(Note: None of these links are affiliate links. All I get in exchange for your click is joy in my heart.)

1. A YEAR OF BOOKS! Twelve titles. Curated by you specifically for someone special. (Or for you... if you do that forwarding thing I suggested in the previous scroll depth ^^.)

This is the best gift I've ever received, so I'm putting it first. And I added an EXCLAMATION! POINT!

Choose 12 books. Put them in a box. It'll be heavy, substantial, as authentic as your love. And it'll give all year... not just on any one day.

You could package them in a million different ways.
 

• Promotion + Pay Raise in a Box? (13 books on writing, including the newest Everybody Writes)
   
• A year full of surprises? (whodunits, thrillers)
   
• Classic reads for a classy person? (a selection of Pulitzer Prize winners)
   
• AI in real life? (science fiction)
   
• Or maybe what this Era really needs is more romantasy—a wonderful portmanteau of romance and fantasy.

Up to one-third of bookstore sales happen between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. Source from your local bookstore or Bookshop.org. You'll very literally keep your local store's doors open.

2. PERSONALIZED NOTEBOOK. Someone gifted me a personalized notebook with my initials in fan-see-pants gold, which makes it feel functional AND beautiful.

This is one I got. I like it because it has a Smyth-sewn binding, which is a centuries old book-binding technique that allows the pages to lie flat when you open the notebook to write.

Cheaper journals are glued (called "perfect" binding). They don't feel as luxurious or accommodating to me.

BONUS! Now you, too, can throw around words like "perfect binding" and "Smyth-sewn" with the authority of someone who was class valedictorian of Notebook School.

3. MOLESKIN NOTEBOOK. Another notebook? Yes.

Moleskin offers a rare versatility and range of journals, notebooks, and what they call cahiers.

I had to look up that word cahier. It means... well, "notebook."

Bit pretentious? Yes. But then Moleskin says their collection is "designed to unleash your human genius" and I forgave them instantly because that genius inside you is... wait for it... authentic.

And now I think cahier is as good a word as sargassum.

Look here: A notebook seems like a simple thing. But it's not.

So much goes into choosing the perfect one for you: paper feel, page smell (I once had one that smelled like apples; apparently peels were involved?), vibe, portability and size, the Smyth-sewn status of your cahier.

It's a special gift if you look at it that way.

4. A WORKING TYPEWRITER. Writing on an old-school typewriter will change your writing. Especially when you're feeling stuck or plugged or uninspired.

It's distraction-free. It's weirdly and wonderfully tactile. It sends up a raucous cheer for every letter you contribute to the page. YOU'RE DOING IT! YOU'RE WRITING!

A typewriter slows down your brain so writing feels more authentically you.

Plus it's flat-out playful. I shared my typewriter joy 106 newsletter issues ago.

The link above is to Etsy. But you can find them new in some office supply stores or used around the interwebs. (Try Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, Instagram, or here.)

5. TYPEWRITER KEY JEWELRY. I'm not a fan of murdering authentic vintage typewriters for parts. 

But some old typewriters are beyond repair and their organs are harvested ethically to remind writers that writing is a full-body tactile sport. 

Cuff links. Lapel pins. Necklaces. Go wild.

6. LEGO TYPEWRITER. My friend Pam gave me one of these, and with the help of my brother it's sloowwwwly coming together. When it does, it'll have working parts. How cool is that? (This one is backordered; Google is your sourcing elf.)

7. MINI RING LIGHT. Your 2024 needs authentically good lighting so in your weekly standup you don't look like you're in witness protection.

This package is both inexpensive and small. I've recommended it for a few years. I stand by it.

Also let's talk about the product copy:

"This lighting will give you more charming eyes. You will find that your eyes are full of charm, like the eyes of an angel."

I loitered over this description for a long time, trying to call up the last time I gazed into the eyes of an angel... 

Are angel eyes actually charming? Or was I more attracted to the angel's personality?

8. BOOKISH CANDLES. Forage Candle Company has the best domain name: SmellsLikeBooks.com. The shop sells 40-ish different scents—from A (Avonlea) to W (Wuthering Heights).

I don't know what Dorothy's Kansas home actually smelled like in the Wizard of Oz. But this shop says it is a mix of Auntie Em's apple pie with notes of orange peel, clove, vanilla.

In the absence of data... seems about right.

9. WRITERS' DIARIES. A writer's published diary is like seeing what ended up on the cutting room floor. It's the source material. The Darlings they killed. An Inside the Writer's Studio of How They Do the Work. I learn a lot about more authentic writing from reading writer's diaries.

Some suggestions: Virginia Woolf. Franz Kafka. David Sedaris: Volume 1 or Volume 2.

10. YOUR OWN LIBRARY. I love love love seeing these Little Free Libraries in the wild. I picked up Orphan Train and Spare from two in my neighborhood. Install one at your house for me, because I don't have anywhere to put it. I really wish I did.

P.S. I looked for one in Miami Beach. Lots of sargassum. Zero LFLs. Sad.

11. WRITING DICE. I don't believe in writer's block. But I do like the idea of gamifying writing to help you prompt your authentic self. So here you go.

12. WRITERS MUSEUM MERCH. Chicago's American Writers Museum is the only museum in the country dedicated to American writers. It has merch with quotes like this: "A writer's life and work are not a gift to mankind; they are its necessity." PREACH, Toni Morrison!

I spoke at an event there once—I got a baseball hat with the AWM logo on it. When I was recovering from shoulder surgery a few years ago, I wore my hat to a physical therapy session. My therapist nodded toward it and said with a smirk, "Well that place sounds like a fun time."

Ummm... excuse me, sir?! YES IT MOST CERTAINLY WAS.

I tried to explain. He didn't get it. 

But I think you would. The American Writers Museum has some one-of-a-kind gifts. And you're supporting a nonprofit—albeit one that my therapist would never visit.*

*That's OK. My shoulder feels fantastic.

* * *

I ditched the Zen garden idea. Not the same. 

I wish you the most authentic 2023 holiday season.

Love,

Ann

DEPARTMENT OF SHENANIGANS

Is this quote real or fake?

EVENTS

📅 Dec 7: Content Summit with PlayPlay. I'll be talking about brand storytelling. Cost: $0.

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Thanks for reading this far.

Thanks for your kindness and generosity.

Stay healthy.

Breathe.

🫡 See you again on December 17.