As pandemic restrictions thawed, my wife and I decided to attend a socially-distanced church event. We were happy to see old friends — behind their masks, of course!
We stood in the sunshine talking to a young couple with a two-year-old toddler. We were close to this family and delighted in seeing how much this little girl had grown since we last saw her.
While the adults chatted, the little girl toodled over to a grassy patch, pulled up some leaves, walked over to me, and deposited them on my shoes. She repeated this process with flowers, old leaves, and little stones. She was decorating me!
Normally I would pick her up, compliment her on her artwork and make her giggle.
But I couldn’t. You just don’t touch each other in a pandemic. I couldn’t interact in a normal way with this child. Nobody could. And it has been that way for more than a year.
Let’s dissect this seemingly insignificant interaction and think through the possible impact. What socialization lessons are being imprinted here? What is the child learning?
- “It’s not safe for anybody to connect with me in a physical way except mom and dad.”
- “I can’t really see how people react to me behind those masks. I don’t see smiles. Do they like me?”
- “I would like to play with these other children but every time I try, mommy carries me away. It must not be safe.”
I’m not a psychologist. I don’t know if these statements could be true or if they will matter in the long-term.
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Matt Ruby:
My parents were political archenemies. My father was a Reagan-loving, “tough on crime” prosecutor while my mother was a bohemian hippie poet who put an “All You Need Is Love” bumper sticker on our car. Despite this baking soda and vinegar combination, their marriage survived for 40+ years until death did them part. In our current era of political tribalism, people tend to find this remarkable. When they learn about it, they ask, “How the hell did they make that work?” The
short answer: They knew life was about way more than politics.
