[X&Y] Approaching A Woman Who Is With Her Friends

Published: Tue, 04/09/24



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WHAT'S INSIDE: Doesn't giving a woman compliments
make a guy look like a "chaser"? Not necessarily.
   
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS


Hi, I am applying the things I am learning from you everyday
and I am paying special attention to the podcasts on
approaching women and where to meet them.

My obstacle now is I keep seeing women I would like to get
to know better at obscure moments like coffee shops,
waiting in line, etc.

They seem to be giving me "signals of interest" but how do
you go about trying to flirt and get a number when there
are two girls present?

With this there are the issues of jealousy or if the or the
friend will try and hinder your attempts because you
approached the other girl.

This happened today at Starbucks with two girls talking to
each other at a table. We strategically sat at the middle
table where all the girls could see us.

I didn't make the attempt to go talk to the one girl that
seemed interested because her friend was there but she
did go to the bathroom.

Maybe that was my opening, but even then to get a number
from someone you just met with just 2 to 3 minutes to do it
in is strict.

There is a way to accomplish this?  So what am I doing
wrong with my mindset?

Thanks again for your time and help, I appreciate it and can
say I am making the sincere decision to put myself on the
path to deserving what I want.


Nick in California




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Hey, Nick.  Thanks for writing.

I'm glad that things we talk about appear to be working for
you to some degree already.  They certainly have for me.

Regarding your first question about groups of women, I
think you are over-analyzing.

Doing such in any situation--be it meeting women or
whatever else you do in life--causes you to manufacture
self-doubt at a record pace, all based on "what if"
scenarios that are far from certain to happen.

I'm sure you've heard the term "analysis paralysis", and it
applies here.  If you don't even try, you are guaranteed to
fail...every time.

If you see a woman you like who just so happens to be with
her friends, there is absolutely nothing wrong with
showing interest towards her specifically.

A real man should be cordial with the friend(s) and bring
some energy to the entire group, but it's only natural (and
expected) that you would be attracted to one in particular.

This is especially true if the woman you like appears to be
telegraphing interest signals before you even approach her.

Women are grown-ups too, remember.  If "in the unlikely
event of a decompression" your concern is validated
and the other women somehow manage to "act up" in
either a jealous and/or immature way, that's not really even
your problem.

Rest assured that any woman who would put on this display
is not representing true friendship toward the woman you are
interested in.

With some field experience, you'll soon realize that most
women are very gracious in return when a man respectfully
approaches a certain woman in the group.

You are only going to get blatantly "blocked" when either:

1)  She's not single
after all, or...

2)  ...You are an I/J (Idiot/Jerk).

Be the kind of man who deserves what he wants, and there's
very little potential for shame.

Besides, what's the worst that can happen if they all want
your attention...you get ALL of their phone numbers?

Let's think about this even deeper.

If one woman in the group behaves like a brat, believe it or
not it may HELP your cause as the one you prefer apologizes
upon finding herself in a position of embarrassment.

But again, all this is a contingency plan for the unlikely.

Women know better than to be that catty towards their friends
in such situations.  Rather, they typically are happy for one
another.

 

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