Neighbors A and B are at it again. If you missed the other meditations their feud has inspired, click here. Today makes the fourth one since 2020.
This time, Neighbor B has torn up their yard. He's the one with the dog. A big portion of his yard closest to neighbor A is dug up and some of the driveway side, too. I wonder if he has put in an electric fence to better keep his dog away from neighbor A’s yard? And neighbor A’s cat?
Neighbor A was out this morning while I was walking and I so badly wanted to ask him, Are you guys in a competition to see who can keep their yard dug up the most? I don't think he would've appreciated that so I kept it to myself.
Seeing their ongoing struggles with each other, which manifest as continuous lawn disturbances, brought me back to the urgency of pursuing peace above all else.
I came across a great quote that apparently originated with Jimi Hendrix, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Too
often, I give up my peace for pennies, which I talk about in Finding the Gift on July 12, Guarding My Peace. Why do we surrender our peace so easily? Isn't peace more valuable than every time I can remind somebody of something that I think I’m entitled to? Or every time I think someone is wrong and I’m right?
Research shows that an initial burst of anger (frustration, indignance) is gone in about ninety seconds. After that it becomes resentment, but only if we choose to hang
onto it. So if I can endure a minute and a half of discomfort, the intensity will dissipate and I can better deal with the facts.
THEY did this, or THIS happened and it irritated me. ...85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90. Okay.
Next!
The charge is gone and I don’t have to hold on to feeling bad. I can go back to whatever I was doing.
Please know, we're not ignoring the feelings. No, it's the opposite. We're acknowledging them, feeling them fully, letting them run through our body and then exit, rather than hanging onto them.
Feelings have to be seen before they can leave.
One of my mentors often challenges me to try sitting in discomfort, doing nothing, and just seeing what happens without my interaction, involvement, words, or actions.
Things may or may not turn favorably in
my direction, but when I’m willing to abandon an opportunity to engage in strife with someone, I feel better quicker. This works when it’s something big with a family member or a friend, or if I’m having a call with a customer service rep and things aren’t going my way.
Another great question to hold at the forefront of my mind when I feel my feathers ruffled is, How important is it? Is THIS worth taking me out of whatever I'm doing at the moment and letting the negative thoughts live rent-free in my head?
Harboring negative thoughts will likely invite conflict and negative feelings toward me from someone else, to match my negative feelings toward them. Do I really want people sending me bad vibes and ill thoughts? How is that moving me in the direction I want to go?
We all have THOSE days and THOSE weeks. After a prolonged emotional battle, my spirit gets conflict fatigue and I just want to hide. A time-out from a heated situation can be wise, but nothing good lives in THAT cave if we stay too long. Hiding may give me a reprieve from charged emotions and future conflict, but that's not
the same as freely enjoying peace, while living our lives. Both are possible.
Today I will keep all these reminders close. If a challenging opportunity presents itself, I will prioritize my peace above all else and seek
to exemplify the power of love.
