A MOTHER'S DAY STORY

By Lyllyan Blare

It is a parent’s responsibility to take care of their child, not the other way around. But what happens when circumstances warrant increased responsibility from a child toward the parent? 

This was the case with my family. I’m a single mom to a glorious daughter. My illness and subsequent disability occurred several years prior to her birth; she’s never seen me without medical equipment to aid in my daily life. 

At age two, she loved to either ride in my lap as we soared down ramps in my manual chair or push me around. My daughter had more upper-body strength than most kids three times her age!

By age three, she was helping me keep up the house by picking things up off the floor so I wouldn’t trip, or roll over her toys. She would bring me the laundry baskets, shopping bags and more. She also helped me dress – she’d pick up my legs so I could put my socks and shoes on and she’d help take those items off at the end of the day. 

My little girl worked. She was more responsible than she should’ve been and my guilt as a mom was intense and seemingly incurable. I longed for her to be more carefree, more ‘childlike’ and less focused on how she could help me. It simply wasn’t her job. It was my job to be caring for her.

When my doctor suggested a service dog, I was apprehensive due to my ignorance of their capabilities. Yet I began the application process at several different organizations, one of which was ECAD, Educated Canines Assisting with Disabilities. After advancing through the various application stages, I was invited for an interview. When I met with the staff, I felt immense relief, understanding and compassion. My application was accepted. 

As my team-training dates neared, I was so excited and couldn’t wait for my life to change. And it wasn’t just my life that was about to change, it was my daughter’s as well. She turned six while I was training with my new teammate, my dog, Journey.

The transition from just the two of us to a family of three was hard – my little girl still wanted to help me and was jealous of Journey. I had to explain that she’d always be my favorite helper, that our dog could never replace her in any way, and that she wasn’t responsible for me. It was time for her to enjoy her childhood.

I have been blessed with the gift of Journey. I am able to let go of my guilt as a disabled mom. I now have a four-legged partner who can help with things my child should never have had to. I am more carefree since I don’t have to worry about needing my daughter as much. I’m more independent and have a sense of dignity I didn’t even realize was diminishing slowly over time. 

And having my service dog has been a blessing in my daughter’s life as well. Thank God for my amazing family of three.

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See Lyllyane and Journey in action! 

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