I’M RETHINKING HOW I CHOOSE TO GIVE

Could it be that human contact makes humans feel more responsible for one another?

By Kate Cohen

As usual (for me and for many Americans), I made some final charitable donations at the end of the year. But this year, one memory haunts me.

I was standing on a subway platform, waiting for a rush-hour train sometime last winter when a man started making his way through the crowd. 

He was maybe in his 30s, White, heavyset, unshowered. He went up to each commuter in turn and said, “I’m hungry.” Like a child would say it to a mom, urgent and whiny at the edges. 

“I’m hungry.” Begging — asking for food or money — but also begging. Pleading.

He waited a few seconds for a response from a woman clutching a tote and a phone, but when she studiously avoided eye contact, he moved on. “I’m hungry.”

It was unsettling to hear such a simple plea, to watch everyone ignore it, to ignore it myself. I had a twenty in my bag, and I didn’t need it — not for that day in New York and not in the grander scheme either.

So why didn’t I give it to him?

Did I fear, as people often do, that my money would be spent “the wrong way” — on drugs or drink?

This is the self-justifying attitude that Pope Francis, in a 2017 interview, characterized as “if I give him money, he’ll just spend it on a glass of wine.”