IT'S ONLY A JOKE: PULLED OVER

A woman is pulled over for speeding.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Police Officer: Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Police Officer: Can I see your license, please?

Woman: Well, I would give it to you, but I don’t have one.

Police Officer: Don’t have one?

Woman: No. I lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Police Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?

Woman: I can’t do that.

Police Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Police Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Police Officer: You what!?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see them.

The police officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for backup. Within minutes, 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

Police Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle, please?

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem, sir?

Police Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Police Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The police officer is quite stunned.

Police Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a clutch purse, and hands it to the officer.

The second police officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you, ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you 

murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: I’ll bet the lying so-and-so told you I was speeding, too!