FATHERHOOD 

In some cultures, multiple fathers — or no fathers at all — are the norm.

by Nicholas A. Christakis

My wife and I had three biological children starting 30 years ago, and then, five years ago, we became foster parents to a young boy whom we legally adopted when it became clear that he needed a permanent home. 

I call him “son” and he calls me “dad,” though others sometimes mistake me for his grandfather. I love my new son no less, though occasionally differently, than our biological children. 

If I’m honest, in one way I may love him more, because we became a father and son, together, of our own free will. I like to playfully remind him, when he is particularly irritated with me, that most people can only dream of being able to choose their parents, whereas I heard him tell a judge in a courtroom that he’d picked my wife and me for the job. 

Being unmoored from the biological tie is a relief in a way, too: I don’t seek a reflection of my (neurotic) self in my boy, and no one asks him to shoulder that burden, either, though he did recently complain that he was worried my nerdiness was “wearing off” on him...Read More