In last week’s post, I introduced the concept of the ‘Stress Cycle’ – what I believe is one of the most important ways we can successfully navigate the modern-day world.

The key is in breaking the constant of chronic stress, with intentional forced moments of rest and downtime where we actively come out of a stress state.

In this post, I want to share some real-life, tangible examples from my own life and how I put the Stress Cycle concept into action.

Handling stressful events in my own life 

Presentations – As well as coaching clients, I run a lot of webinars, talks and workshops. Although I don’t get anywhere near as stressed about live events as I did when I first started doing them, they do still raise my stress levels. I am essentially performing and there’s pressure for things to go well. To manage the stress of presentations, I make sure I block out the hour before the session to go through everything so that I feel calm and prepared. I take some deep breaths, just before I start and also, as soon as I’ve finished the presentation. Then, after the sessions, I always block out at least another hour to go for a walk in the park to decompress. 

An unexpected stressful event – If something particularly stressful happens or, perhaps, lots of things coincide to mean that I have a very stressful day, then it is unlikely that I’ll have time blocked out to de-stress. So, I would potentially cancel evening plans, if I had them, to be at home and relax. I might also have a hot bath and, potentially, speak to a friend because for me, sharing my stressors with someone I trust helps me process them. If I couldn’t cancel my evening plans, I’d go but leave early and I might try and have more of a lie-in or relaxing morning the following day. 

A bad night’s sleep – When I wake up in the morning after a bad night’s sleep, I look at my plans for the day ahead and I will try and adjust my schedule to make it as easy going as possible. I might move some work around and if I had planned a workout at the gym, I’d choose a more low-impact form of exercise and go for a walk instead. I would also make sure I take some immune-boosting supplements with breakfast as I’m very conscious of the fact that my immune system will be compromised when I’m sleep-deprived.

After intense exercise – Recently I’ve added ankle weights to my barre workouts, which has upped the intensity and level of work my muscles have to do (therefore more hormetic stress). In the beginning, I can sense my body is adjusting to this added hormetic stress – my muscles are more sore and I feel more tired. I make sure I don’t train back to back because I understand that my body is repairing and changing while I rest. I also make sure I’m eating plenty of food to help the body repair and I will go to bed earlier if I feel more tired than usual.

After a busy or stressful week – If I’ve had a particularly hectic week, then I will try to make sure I relax on the Friday night by staying in and getting an early night (again, this may involve cancelling plans). If I have lots on over the weekend, I might also reschedule things depending on how depleted I feel, so that I can rest more and replenish ready for the upcoming week.

Other ways to de-stress

I’ve mentioned above a few examples of how I counterbalance stressful events, but it is useful to have a whole range of tools and techniques that I can turn to depending on what time and other constraints may or may not allow. Therefore, here is a list of things I do on a regular basis that help me avoid stress, or that I do to reduce my stress levels and complete the stress cycle:

Positive/supportive self-talk – This is probably one of the most important: I speak to myself with a calm, supportive, loving voice. This makes my nervous system feel safe whereas critical, harsh or fear-based thoughts make a person's nervous system feel unsafe and therefore cause stress. I also listen to podcasts that talk about things from a perspective based on possibilities, opportunities and abundance rather than lack, scarcity and fear. 

Managing my blood sugar – Also one of the most important: I always eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and do everything possible to avoid missing a meal. I make sure I'm consuming enough good quality protein and fat with every meal, which is key in blood sugar regulation. Skipping meals creates a calorie deficit and causes blood sugar highs and lows, both of which are a major stressor to the body, particularly for women. 

A clean/tidy home – For me, a messy home makes me feel more stressed, whereas a clean and tidy home makes me feel calm!

Slowing things down – If I’m feeling tense and stressed, I slow things down at the first opportunity I can. This means moving more slowly, talking slowly and resting. If we carry on rushing and staying busy, we can often miss the cues from our bodies that signal how exhausted we are.  

Relaxing lighting – Lighting can either stress us out or calm us down. I make sure that the light in my home in the evening is warm-toned, low strength and low level. I don’t put the bright overhead ceiling lights on, instead I use lamps. This makes such a huge difference. By doing this, you’re essentially mimicking the sun – this links back to the first blog in this series where I mentioned the natural environment evolution designed us for.

Deep breathing – I mentioned above that I’ll do some deep breathing just before and after a presentation. It’s fairly well-known now that breathing techniques calm the body and mind and can move your body into a calm nervous system state. It’s one of the simplest things you can do to move yourself out of a stressed state. The key is in breathing in through the nose and making your exhale longer than your inhale.

Supplements – I mentioned above that I’ll take immune-boosting supplements when I have had a bad night’s sleep. This is to give my immune system extra support. However, I also take a number of natural supplements to support my stress levels – notably ashwagandha, magnesium, and vitamin B complex.

Stretching – This is another very simple way to relieve tension and reduce stress levels, which does not have to take a lot of time.

A warm bath with salts or aromatherapy oils – A warm bath or shower is one of my favourite ways to unwind.  Having a bath is even more effective when using bath salts or essential oils, like lavender, that are known for their relaxation properties.

Keep this list handy so that you have a range of options available to try to help you complete your own Stress Cycle. As always, try things and assess which ones work best and most effectively for you. We are all different.

“Kate, do you really find the time to do all of this?!”

Yes, I do try and practice what I preach as best I can. 

It is human to sometimes experience too much stress, but the key is in being intentional and proactive about managing it as best you can and making the time and commitment to reduce stress too. It can be hard to find the time but, equally, now we understand the health and wellbeing benefits, can we afford not to make the time?

We can’t get the balance right all of the time, of course,  but having a range of stress-relieving techniques that I can draw upon that I truly know will help me is a great start. 

Finally, do remember it is a very personal and individual thing as to what ‘go to’ de-stressing activities work for you. Some of the items listed above may not be right for you and that’s ok. Focus on what works for you.