Hello again , how is life treating you these days? In between being a carer at home, and finally getting my plants going in the garden (!),
I'm continuing to take a limited number of individual clients, so don't hesitate to get in touch if you are thinking about coaching, or just to find out about what it could mean for you.
Proven ways to be happier |
There are quite a few paradoxes going on around happiness, and one of them is that it is easier to find it if you aren't looking for it. It's a by-product really, of living well, in accordance with our own nature and the whole world of which we are part. However there are things you can do that will increase your sense of life satisfaction, and if you want to call that happiness, well, that's fine! Much of what I'm going to say is by
kind permission of Sonja Lyubomirsky. She is one of the foremost researchers in Positive Psychology and what she says can be trusted. Off we go then. Here are the first two 'Happiness Strategies' that she has devised. The first one is Counting Your Blessings. How many times have
you heard that from the lips of elderly relatives? Probably in the same breath as 'Mustn't Grumble'. Well actually, research tells us that they were right. Ways to do this include simply expressing gratitude for the good things in your life, maybe just thinking about it to
yourself, or writing in a journal, or even writing a letter of thanks and gratitude to someone who has had a positive influence on you. You can send it to them if you like, but the very act of writing it is beneficial to you, even if you don't post it. When I start work face
to face with a new person I always give them a nice notebook. There is something special about the physical act of writing in a beautiful book, preferably with a really posh pen, and it really is good for you. The second strategy develops this idea of writing. You use your
lovely notebook and cultivate optimism by writing about your best possible future, and practice looking out for what could go well in your life, rather than what might go wrong. This reminds me of what Rick Hanson says, that the brain has a negativity bias, so that good things tend to slide
off and bad things stick. Like Teflon and Velcro! This might have helped us to survive in our dangerous long ago cave person past, but it doesn't help us now so much. Cultivating optimism helps redress that balance. So - two questions for you! To whom are you grateful in your life? And
what is the best possible day that you can imagine, today? What do you see?
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I'm very keen on photography these days and I enjoy taking out my new toy (fairly posh new camera) and snapping away. Not to mention the amazing photos you can achieve with an Iphone! I've just progressed to some of the smarter things it can do, and I particularly enjoy experimenting with the colour filters. This sets the camera so that it will only pick up certain colours and the rest is black and white. You can get some really effective shots, say, if you just set it to red, and you can see an example here. 
This leads me to think what filters we use in every day life. Bearing in mind that there is no colour 'out there' (whatever that is), and that light itself has no colour, and
that what we perceive as colour is actually the action of electromagnetic waves on specialised cells in the human retina, we have to conclude that we ourselves provide the colour and the interpretation. This is deep stuff and I won't go further into one of my favourite rabbit holes just now, but I think you get the picture! In NLP we talk about mental filters a lot, that we can distort our perceptions according to our unconscious beliefs. We tend to see what we expect to see. Which relates back to the second Happiness Strategy above, about cultivating optimism. So we can practice looking for the good
things!
Other things I'm still doing... |
- I know I keep saying this, but it's so good I can't resist! I'm talking about Harrison Assessments, which I described
in one of my previous issues. The assessment consists of a short 'smart' questionnaire which indicates your traits, such as Optimistic, Authoritative, Influencing, and about 170 others. It's
also brilliant for everything HR that you can think of, plus individual career guidance and planning. Coaching is then based on this information. I'm bringing in Harrison Assessments to most of my coaching, which you'll soon see in my Shop. With my international partners in Paris, San Francisco and Perth, I can now offer this at a considerably reduced price - contact me for more details.
- I have several downloadable exercises and worksheets on my website here, to give you a taste of what you might get when you work with me. Everything else is in the Coaching Shop. Enjoy!
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That's it for today,
- stay well, keep safe, and I'll be in touch again soon. Thanks for your time and understanding, All best wishes, Barbara P.S. if you like this update and you got it elsewhere, you can get your own personal regular copy by subscribing safely here. Please feel free to share, just keep the attribution to me. You get a short free email course on sign up about well being, effectiveness and resilience. NB The information contained above is provided for information purposes
only. The contents of this email are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this email. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this email. Barbara Bates disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this email. |
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