Would you rather eat a bunch of:
I have to admit this was a difficult one for me. Except for the great pastry debacle of 2020, your questions usually give me clear-cut choices.
I can imagine the inside of a pumpkin being soft and I love the pale orangy color inside pumpkins. Plus, I'm comfortable and feel cocooned inside round shapes. So, I imagine I'd feel safe.
However, I had to really consider my choice because a rotting house is dangerous (cuz gravity), bad for my allergies, and expensive to keep replacing.
Ultimately, I chose the pumpkin because I cannot abide unexpected noises, chain rattling makes my teeth hurt, and life in 2020 is ALREADY scary enough.
I will never live down the shame of the great pastry debacle of 2020. I can only hope that future generations can find it in their hearts to forgive me. - Chris
Ok, so I'm going to make a few assumptions here to explain my reasoning.
1) Since the house can be haunted, there must exist some form of exorcism. Let's assume that I would need to hire someone to perform the exorcism. Cool. I can make an event out of it! We need to sacrifice a goat? BBQ time after! I could sell tickets to a streaming event of the exorcism taking place! Eat your heart out SciFi Channel! Btw; while I'm on that topic. I find it both infuriating and fascinating that as a
society, we have just accepted the fact that a channel devoted to science (and yes, fiction) to be ok with people running around with "ghost-o-meters" trying to talk to the dead in the middle of abandoned homes. When did that become ok? This is why I hate cable TV.
Ok, rant over. Now that I've got my new mansion, I'll tell you why that's better than a big pumpkin house. I'm not particularly versed in building codes, but I would imagine that a house where the primary material for construction is a winter vegetable would not be ok'd by inspection. Also, I would imagine that I would need a literal TON of candles to drown out the pumpkin smell. Also; You've seen Spongebob right? Dude
lived in a pineapple. IIRC, the dude has only 1, maybe two rooms max. I'm not some bachelor anymore living in an efficiency apartment. I work from home now, with a spare bedroom as an office. I need at least some form of separation between my work space and the rest of the house. What if I have kids? I don't care what HGTV says, it is indeed possible to go overboard with an "open concept". Forget what Joanna Gaines and Chip say. She's throwing pillows and other decorating nicknacks embroidered
with "live laugh love" quotes (and other such similar phrases) all over the house after he's done all the heavy lifting. Pick up a hammer Joanna...
Joanna, Chip, the gauntlet has been thrown. - Chris
1) fewer ghosts 2) scrape the walls for free food
I really like that this answer doesn't just assume there are no ghosts in the pumpkin, just that it's likely that there are fewer ghosts than in the mansion. - Chris
More haunted hands to help around the house.
Play Among Us
We unfortunately didn't get much in the way of bonus content created this week because when we got on for our weekly call, we just ended up playing Among Us for three hours. If you're ever interested in playing, respond to this email and we'll set up a
I did draw this picture of one of my dogs as a little cleric.
Listen to Father and Daughter
I have an 11 year old daughter who plays would you rather (and Among us) with me. If you happen to be a dad/step dad (like this me) /father figure/parent in general, I'd suggest you listen to Father and Daughter by Paul Simon.
On an unrelated note, I hope you like crying.
If you've got ideas for fun scenarios, reply to this email and send them our way.
If you don't think this is a fun idea, please share the link with an enemy.