I need to get something off my chest. I do not do well in the heat. And with this summer’s epic heat wave, I am not okay.

• I feel like being drenched in sweat for 90% of my day has become the norm.
• With this humidity, My hair constantly looks like I’ve been playing with a screwdriver and a light socket.
• Oh, and the amount of sunscreen I’ve been going through; unbelievable. Why doesn’t sunscreen come in 5-gallon buckets with a pump sprayer wand attached?  

Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond giddy each time I walk into my garden and see my waist-high yarrow and chamomile. I could spend an hour just standing there watching all the pollinators bounce from bachelor button to bachelor button. However, I’d probably burn to a crisp if I did. And we’ll have a great selection of homegrown pumpkins for carving and baking this fall.

But, hoo-boy, this pasty German is dying out here.  

It’s quite common for vegetables to go dormant during extreme heat. Plants conserve energy and resources by not growing as fast or producing fruit. It’s strange. I keep thinking with the consistent rain we’re receiving and all this heat, the garden would be exploding with produce. But no, it’s slowed right down.

My cucumbers are in no big hurry to grow; thank you, ma’am. And I’ve been picking a single scallop squash a week. The tomatoes, oh for Pete’s sake, I think they are just as done with this weather as I am.  

Maybe we should all go dormant to conserve energy and resources. This is the kind of weather to do a whole lot of nothing. Up here in the north, it’s “puttering” weather. Down in the south, I believe it’s called piddling, but it’s the same concept – take it easy; we’re in no big hurry to do anything.

If this summer heat has got you down, take a leaf out of your garden’s book and go dormant for a bit. There will be plenty of time to produce once the weather is less extreme. Look, if even the weeds are too hot to do anything, surely that’s a sign that the rest of us can take it easy.