Using a Courage-Based Plan to Break Projects Down into Smaller Steps

"I can't do it!!" she wailed.

“What part feels too hard?” I asked. 

"All of it!!"

No, this wasn’t a client call. This was the conversation I had with my almost-5-year-old on Saturday morning over pancakes. In our house we make “owl pancakes”...normal pancakes with decorations to make them look like owls. This week the wings were strawberries, the beak and feet were slivered almond, we added peanut butter chip eyes, a pretzel perch, and yogurt snow...

She was insistent that she couldn’t cut it herself. 

Now, I've seen her cut pancakes before. She can do it. But she was worried about not being able to cut through the owl extras.

Of course, we all know that if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. I’d be darned if I was going to let her do that.

“You know how to pick up a fork, right?” I asked.

“Yes!” she giggled.

“And you know how to pick up a knife, right?”

“Yeessss of course!” she laughed.

“And you can put your fork in the pancake, right?”

Sure enough, she skipped ahead, putting her knife down, and cutting a perfect triangle, popping it into her mouth happily.

Not one to let a teaching moment go by, I tell her "You know how you were feeling overwhelmed when you looked at it all at once? Well, breaking it up into smaller steps made it easier, right? That's something good to remember when it happens again."

Then my partner, the observant that he is, chimed in..."You know that's what mom does for work, right? She helps people break things down into smaller steps and helps them do hard things."

Well, that one left me speechless. Of course that's what I do with people. Why have I never explained it like that before?!

The Overwhelm of Big Projects

You’ve experienced this too, right? Something that feels completely daunting when you look at the whole thing as one task? Climbing a mountain. Moving house. Starting a business. Getting your first client. Taking a class. I wrote a whole article about the overwhelm of painting a room in my house. I’m feeling it right now as I plan to launch a new community. 

Then what happens? 

Sometimes, procrastination hits hard. Other times, paralysis. Despair. Feeling like a failure before we’ve even started. Likely your self-doubt will show up, probably as over working, over thinking, over giving, or overwhelm. But none of those things get you much closer to completing the project you really want to do. 

None of them help you cut the pancake. My daughter was ready to give up and forgo eating the pancake all together. She worked herself into a tizzy and couldn’t think straight. This is definitely not a place of feeling resourced and confident.

Taking the Easiest, Most Doable Step First

Then what? How do you get out of the feeling of overwhelm and into action?

You do the absolute easiest, most doable thing first. In the case of the pancake (and a 4-year-old), that step was just picking up the fork. This immediately calmed her down, gave her confidence, and helped her realize it wasn’t in fact “all of it” that was hard.

In preparing my community, I spent nearly a month just brainstorming. That was the easy part for me. I booked some market research interviews and talked to my supervisor. I did the things that didn’t scare me. I was still terrified, but those steps didn’t seem so bad. I could delay the scary parts.

Doing the Easy Things First Makes the Hard Parts Less Hard

By the time my daughter got to cutting the strawberry, she was on a roll. She just picked it up and ate it whole. The thing she was worried about became a non-issue. She had momentum and the hard part was a piece of cake by the time she got there. She had built up her confidence and was ready to tackle it head-on.

I’ve been working on my community one step at a time, and still I haven’t hit a truly hard part. Each step builds on the last. Looking ahead I still get scared, but when I look at the next most immediate task, I breeze through it. 

I’m by no means saying you will never hit hard or insurmountable tasks if you try it this way. You still may need help. You still might get overwhelmed. You still might want to give up. But isolating it task by task helps you understand yourself (and the project) better. You can see which obstacles real and which ones are just worry. You can ask for the right kind of help (and probably spend less time and money getting help!). You can build your self-trust along the way.

Courage-Based Planning

When I’m facing down overwhelm or a project with a long list of steps, I create a Courage-Based Plan. 

Sas Petherick is the genius coach who taught me this tool, and I have found it incredibly helpful to use with my clients.

It looks like this:

This tool helps break down projects into smaller steps. We use a circular system because linear steps can be much harder to follow. Something always gets in the way, then we can’t move forward. This way can help break us out of that cycle, and it also gives us a visual representation to use daily. Plus, it’s sooooo satisfying to tally up all the things you’ve done!

Find yourself a whiteboard, ideally about 1.5’ x 2’, some markers, and some small Post-It notes, and draw up this diagram. Find somewhere by your desk to put it and get to work!

How to Create a Courage-Based Plan

Step 1: See if you can break your goal or project down into something you’d specifically like to accomplish in the next 90 days. It’s okay if it will take longer or if you can’t get that specific, but see if you can. 

Step 2: Make a list of all the action steps you can think of to achieve your goal.

Step 3: Write each action step on a Post-It note. Pay close attention to which actions are passive actions (actions like reading books, learning something, etc.). Try to keep your passive actions to a minimum and focus on the actions that move the goal forward.

Step 4: Arrange the Post-It notes on the board in the appropriate circles (doable, easy, hard, and risky).

Step 5: From a healthy place, potentially with your coach, think of a few helpful beliefs you’d like to keep in mind as you work on these action steps. Write these on your board.

Step 6: From a healthy place, think through the obstacles you might encounter. There are reasons you haven’t achieved this goal already, so think about what those are and make note of them. Then think about what you can do when that obstacle arises. Write these on your board.

Step 7: Start doing things! Commit to moving at least one task to the “done” section every day for the next week. It is key to start building momentum with some quick wins right away.

Step 8: As you clear actions from the board, move the remaining actions towards the centre if they start feeling easier to you.

Step 9: Pay special attention to the actions that continue to feel risky or uncertain, even as you gain momentum with other things. This is where your self-doubt is likely showing up, or you need some help to get that action done. Stuff WILL happen to prevent you from taking action. When it does, refer to your obstacle notes or your healthy belief notes. The actions that aren’t getting done are perfect topics for coaching calls. This is all completely normal, so take the time to dig deep and see what’s going on.

What if I don’t know what the steps are?

Sometimes breaking things down into smaller steps is the hard part. If that doesn’t come naturally to you, here are some suggestions:

1. Work backwards. Start at the end and think through what would have to be done right before you finish the project. What would happen before that? Then what happens before that?
2. Make a mind map. Brainstorm steps in any order, and break each of those steps down into smaller steps. Seeing it visually might help.
3. Talk it out with someone. This is a big part of my coaching work with clients. They talk, I type, and by the end they have all the steps mapped out from start to end. If this is something you want my help with you’re welcome to book a Deep-Dive Call. 
4. Ask someone who has done it before. 
5. Google it. Or ChatGPT it. Essentially, research it. (But not too much! Don’t let this hold you back for too long.)
6. Just start. Often you will discover the next steps as you start to do the first ones. I’m always adding new post-its to my board as I go along because I can’t possibly think of everything all at once.

Will you never feel overwhelmed again? Of course not! But when you do, see if you can draw on this tool of breaking things down to relieve the pain even just a little. I promise, you’ve got this.

Takeaways and Next Steps

• You don’t need to do this for every project or task, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed, break it down and try a Courage-Based Plan.
• Notice how your self-doubt is showing up, and know that’s completely normal. 
• This takes practice. Practicing with smaller, less important things could help when the big things come up.
• You’ve got this!!!