“You should feel grateful to have this job”.

This is a phrase I heard now and then during my time in gainful employment.

It was usually trotted out by a head honcho when a colleague missed out on a pay rise, bonus or promotion. 

The phrase was a good way to deflect attention and sweep a colleague’s concern under the carpet.

Good for the employer anyway. 

But not so good for an employee to be told they’ve missed out on a pay rise or bonus and know that their planned 2 week family holiday to Disneyworld is now a weekend at Butlins.  And then, to rub salt in the wound, to be told how they should be feeling about the whole situation.

Because fact of the matter is that nobody – certainly not your boss or your colleagues – has the right to tell you how to feel or how you “should” be feeling in any moment.

How you feel has nothing to do with what other people tell you or expect you to feel.

It’s just how you feel.

It’s unique, subjective and a combination of many factors.  All of which are yours, not someone else’s.

And if you’re pissed off or irritated and your boss is saying you “should feel grateful”, my suggestion is to recognise this statement for what it is:

An attempt to dismiss your concerns, invalidate your emotions and downsize your ambitions & goals.

I’m not saying these attempts are always deliberate.  They could just be misguided.  They could even be completely innocent.

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that this is happening.

So I’m here to declare:

How you feel is how you feel…

Your concerns are valid…

And no-one has the right to take your goals and shrink them.

If anything, it’s the role of the head honchos to take your ambitions and buoy them up, help you dream bigger and do everything they can to support you to achieve them.

I’ll bet where this sort of workplace culture exists, people do feel grateful to have their jobs.

Not because they’re told they should feel grateful.

But because they work in an organisation which encourages them and helps them to pursue their goals.

All of which leads me nicely on to coaching.

Having a coach is like having a cheerleader in your corner, pushing you forward and unleashing your talents while rooting for you at the same time. 

If you're interested, here’s the link to book a no-obligation discovery call with me:

https://calendly.com/followingfulfilment

That’s all for today.  I’m off for a run.

Catch you tomorrow.

- Tom