Here are the two ways of handling these arguments that will
immediately cause even more harm than the argument itself.
1. Build an iron clad case of logic and historical evidence to prove that you are right and she is
not only wrong, she's most likely crazy and irresponsible. If it happens at 8pm, try to drag out your defense until 10pm with a disgusted look on your face.
2. Go totally silent. Stew in your anger and assume she is making a personal attack on your manhood and quite possibly your penis size. Disappear for the evening and have an exhaustive conversation in your head where you have all the "perfect comebacks". Go to bed mad and ignore her.
I'm allowed to call you out on this stuff because...remember...I've earned a PhD in this stuff.
Both of those options have a 100% success rate in making matters worse, creating more distance, less attraction, less trust and less respect.
Both options also have a 100% success rate in making you feel
horrible, giving you a knot in your gut, causing a loss of sleep and making you wish you could have a "do-over."
Part of my coaching helps men have their
"do-over".
This is a powerful exercise of imagining yourself in a much more confident skin.
When you have your "do-over" from a clear, confident, calm place you are RESPONDING instead of REACTING.
You feel proud of who you are being and the situational awareness you have. It's like watching it in slow motion. You don't feel threatened.
You're more curious and amused with yourself for almost taking the bait and implementing one of those bad options.
You breathe more deeply. You relax.
HOW do you do this?
It's not a "how" question. It's not about technique or tactics.
It's a "why" question. It's about principles and values.
Why does one man respond and another man react?
Because the man who responds has a totally different perspective.
It's liberating. It's the
best form of freedom...emotional freedom.
If this is something you want, I'd like to schedule a chat with you to help you find out how to get it.
Below are some options for you to get started right away...
Free: Take Our Attractive Husband Self Assessment Here >> $69 Monthly Subscription:
Join Dan and I in the Men’s Roundtable which is our community of powerful, successful men learning and supporting each
other to become leaders in their relationships. $497: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, coach Tim Wade, and community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you
but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce." Custom coaching package: Our
1-to-1 Masculine Confidence coaching programs are the fastest way to realizing your full potential as a
man on a mission to create the life and relationships you really want. As Teddy Roosevelt
said:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” I simply LOVE doing this work with men because it lights up my life to watch you charge back into your life with a grin on your face and swagger in your step. |
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