How To Get Your Confidence Back After A Break Up

Published: Tue, 04/09/24

Hey brother,

By the end of this email, I'm hoping your heart rate lowers by 10 beats and your sense of anxiety drops by 50%.

All of us spend way too much time with anxious thoughts and jittery feelings. And we usually believe there's nothing we can do about it.

I want to give you another way to think about that belief.

I want to give you another way think about how you think.

Read on.

If you get these newsletters, you're probably a guy who is struggling to find your mojo.

Mojo is that grounded sense of well-being. It feels calm and measured. You have a strong sense of your own value and are deliberate in how you live each day.

Mojo is the absence of fear, doubt, uncertainty, anxiety and shame.

Mojo is rare for the man caught in the downward spiral of a failing relationship.

You may have heard us express the exact feelings and fears you've been experiencing and wondering if we've been hiding in your living room walls.

Men often send emails describing a weird sense of calm they get simply from knowing they are not alone. When they see that other men really, really understand their thoughts and secret fears, their anxiety drops a few notches.

The reason we know all about the specific thoughts, feelings and words within you is because we ARE you. And we feel what you're feeling.

Let's talk specifically about the THINKING PROBLEMS you may be having.

In our coaching programs, we dive deeply into the nature of how your brain and your mind conspire to make you feel anxious.

Anxiety is often a form of fearful thinking. And fearful thinking quickly leads to emotions of anger, sadness, loneliness, defensiveness, doom and failure.

Do any of those sound familiar to you?

In this email, we want you to begin practicing ONE THING.

We want you to begin learning how to "think about your thoughts". This is often referred to as being an "Observer of your thinking".

This requires you to understand and BELIEVE there is a part of you that is totally safe. (That you are actually okay!)

Watch this short video I made to help explain this more clearly for you.

How To Get Your Confidence Back After A Break Up

We want you to guide that part of you...your BIGGER self...to stand outside of the smaller self and look at him. Smile at him.

We refer to this as the ability "to father your little boy".

Okay. Now tell him this:

"Little dude, this sucks. It sucks badly. But you're not alone. I'm here for you and so are many others. You're going to be okay because you were born a man of tremendous value and love. And, no matter what, you'll get through this and will come out stronger, smarter and more confident than you've ever felt before. I'll be with you the whole way."

Did you notice how your monkey brain got quiet the whole time you were reading that? Yeah. That's the point.

And, if you're anything like the men in our community, that made you tear up a little bit. Hell, just typing it makes me weepy.

Why?

Because it's TRUE! It is absolutely true.

And THAT IS THE ONE THING we want you to get from this email.

You have the ability to corral your own thinking about the thoughts that are tormenting you.

You are NOT a victim of your own thinking.

While you can't stop the runaway train of THOUGHTS, you have a strong, mature part of you who can see the truth about those thoughts.

And when you learn to change how you "think about your thoughts", you become liberated from the fearful, angry thoughts that are keeping you awake at night.

A guy in our community sent this to us shortly after starting our coaching:

"I have found it incredibly helpful and I am astonished how accurate you are with my own situation. The calls have made me feel that I am not alone going through this and the support has been invaluable. I am excited about being a stronger more confident man. I’m only at the beginning of my new journey but I already feel more confident and free."

This is the prerequisite to a stronger, more intimate relationship with your wife.

More than anything else, women need to experience you as a "stronger, more confident man". This is the man she wants to trust. It's the man she feels can lead her to a better life.

It's the man who WANTS her, but doesn't NEED her in order to become the clear-headed, secure, confident man HE wants to be.

Stand outside yourself and father the scared, angry, frustrated "little boy" with a kind hand and a kind word. Then, let him get some sleep.

If you’re a man ready to take the reins of your mojo and confidence again, below are 4 ways to get started today:

Free: Fill out our contact form for your "Stronger, More Confident Man" consultation call - it's a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and "alpha" bravado. We help you be confident in you again.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. You get INSTANT access to 5 years of recorded sessions! Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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