The Secret to Dealing With a "Busy Bee" Wife (Quick Quiz)

Published: Sun, 04/14/24

Hey brother,

This is another video coaching session on a particular type of woman we're aware of. We hear a lot of grumbling and frustration around this type of wife.

We nicknamed her "The Busy Bee Wife".

How do you know if you have one of your very own?

Here's a quick quiz:

1. Does she always have a mile long list of things to do that never ends?

2. Does she seem distracted and detached from you and give you quick, one word responses...sometimes with an air of impatience or agitation?

3. Does she seem to wear her "busyness" like a badge of honor as if she is in a productivity competition?

4. Does she often complain of being overwhelmed, responsible for everything and never getting enough help or support?

5. Does she have a really hard time getting a good night's sleep?

6. Does she compare herself to other wives and mothers...sometimes with envy or sometimes with harsh judgment?

7. When you ask her for time or attention, do you often get an eye roll and a sigh...and you feel like you're last on her list?

If you answered "Yes" to at least two of those, you might have a "Busy Bee Wife".

As you might expect, I'm not going to tell you how to "fix" her, change her habits or how to persuade her into giving you more time and attention.

I'm going to show you a 13-minute video of 5 senior Goodguys2Greatmen coaches diving into the topic of Effectively Living With a Busy Bee Wife.

I bet you're going to hear something you've never thought about before.

We believe there's something every man should know about this type of wife. There's usually a deeper story behind her behavior and most of us are too self-absorbed to pay attention.

Do you want to know how to THINK about this better?

Do you want to know how to RESPOND to her better?

Do you want to know how to deal with your emotions around feeling dismissed, ignored or disrespected?

Dan Dore and I teamed up with our GG2GM coaches, Jeff Allen, Mark Drezga and Garrett Prettyman to give you some insights and man-to-man coaching on this subject.

Enjoy!

'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need can't catch up with us.

~ Brene Brown

Now, I do NOT recommend you show that quote to your wife any time soon.

Brene Brown is pointing at one common reason some people want to stay "busy" all the time. It's often a coping mechanism for avoiding presence, connection and intimacy.

It's so incredibly common that many people believe it's the most important virtue they can have.

Productivity, efficiency and relentless "box checking" becomes a scoreboard for worthiness. People who are insecure about emotional and physical intimacy will invent all kinds of distractions to keep themselves from getting smothered.

In other words, the "Busy Bee Wife" isn't doing what she's doing to avoid you, dismiss you or ignore you...she doing it FOR HERSELF.

And here's another angle I often see.

The "Busy Bee Wife" is sometimes simply naturally ambitious, energetic, enthusiastic, extraverted and happily involved in LOTS of things. It's not necessarily a coping mechanism, but simply a part of her nature.

And, sometimes, I'm working with a husband who is a devoted, hard-working, consistent provider who just doesn't pick his head up much...until he wants her attention.

He isn't like her. And he's not only annoyed...he's a bit threatened by her exuberant independence and detachment from needing his attention or approval.

She seems to have "more of a life" than he does and the energetic mismatch can cause friction. Can you relate?

If you're facing either of those realities above, it's probably time you started working on changing things up.

The first thing to change is how you're THINKING about her and your marriage.

Then you'll want to start thinking differently about your personal values, expectations of yourself and your role as a strong, confident husband.

There's only one way to do this.

Surround yourself with the highest quality men you'll ever know and learn the things our dads never taught us about being a man.

Here are 4 ways to get started today:

Free: Fill out our contact form for your "Help Me Love My Busy Bee Wife" consultation call - it's a free, no strings, 90 minute deep dive personalized coaching session to help you identify what to focus on and what to avoid to get you moving toward the future you want. We offer a unique form of Men's Coaching and we attract smart guys who see through surface level hype and "alpha" bravado. We help you be confident in you again.

Free Guide: Where You Should Focus To Grow Your Masculinity

$69 Monthly Subscription: Join Dan and I in our Men's Roundtable Group Coaching membership. We meet three times per month for live group coaching and we support you in a powerful group of men facing the same issues you are. It's a $69 investment. You get INSTANT access to 5 years of recorded sessions! Try it for one month. What have you got to lose?

$397 One-Time Payment: How to Defuse the Divorce Bomb is a self-paced course with me, Tim Wade, and a community of men learning how to lead when you've just heard, "I love you but I'm not in love with you" or "I want to separate or divorce."

As Teddy Roosevelt said:

“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Lotta love,

Steve & Dan

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Steven Horsmon

550 Drake Ranch Rd., Livermore, CO 80536, USA

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