Over the last five years through our marriage and engagement, we have had the opportunity to see Mom and Dad interact in a very real way in their marriage. Not only did they conduct our pre-marriage counselling and officiate our wedding, but they also provided great resources for us from their website. They are a daily example of what a healthy marriage can look like.

One tool that we found helpful from their website was the 99 Questions Before Saying “I Do” e-book. We went through these prior to the wedding in hopes of covering any major areas of conflict, allowing us time to talk through them and go through our ‘deal-breaker’ lists.

Now, having been married for just under five years and with our 3rd child on the way, we can best describe our marriage as a work-in-progress! I think it’s safe to say that marriage was not what either of us expected. Amazing to learn that as humans, our natural tendency is not to want to do what the other person wants all the time. We have had our ups and downs, but I’m very excited to say that we are in this for the long haul, and knowing that that is where both of our hearts is at is a great comfort.

The more time we spend with Mom and Dad, the more we can see the way they look for ways to serve each other. On a daily basis it is clear that they are each other’s biggest encouragers, and both give selflessly of themselves for the other’s benefit. If you have not learned this in your own marriage yet, we can personally admit that this does not come naturally to us, or most people, if we are truly honest with ourselves. It is a daily decision, along with strength from our relationship with Christ that allows us to put ourselves out there and love…every day…even when we are grumpy…or our spouse’s personality traits are driving us crazy…we can choose to love them, and act selflessly.

Seeing the example from our parents’ marriage has given us the greatest goal to achieve: a marriage where both people will put the other’s needs first, and know that because of their commitment to one another and God, they will have a marriage where selflessness is not taken advantage of, and where true intimacy thrives.

That is our goal for our marriage every day.