Prayables | getting it together

Published: Wed, 03/30/22

Wednesday March 30, 2022

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it.
Plutarch

If you didn't come from a good family, make sure a good family comes from you. May God bless you to be a role model for your children and may your good character be a light for the generations to come.

I'm all mixed up these days. I'm making hasty decisions causing lasting problems. I forget sometimes and other times I remember too much. Help
me straighten out my messes, dear God. Help me get it together again.

Hebrews 12:11 Discipline is painful, not pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been
trained by it.

DEAR IRS, TAKE MY DEPENDEDENTS, PLEASE!

Tax season is upon us. We're sharing an actual letter submitted to the IRS in response to a denial of two dependents from one frustrated father.

Dear Sirs: I am responding to your letter denying the deduction for two of the three dependents I claimed on last year's Federal Tax return. Thank you. I have questioned whether or not these are my children for years. They are evil and expensive. It's only fair that, since they are minors and no longer my responsibility, the government should know something about them and what to expect over the next year.

Please do not try to reassign them back to me next year and reinstate the deductions. They are yours! The oldest, Kristen, is now 17. She is brilliant. Ask her! I suggest you put her to work in your office where she can answer people's questions about their returns. While she has no formal training, it has not seemed to hamper her mastery of any subject you can name. Taxes should be a breeze.

Next year she is going to college. I think it's wonderful that you will now be responsible for that little expense. While you mull that over, keep in mind that she has a truck. It doesn't run at the moment, so you have the choice of appropriating some Department of Defense funds to fix the vehicle or getting up early to drive her to school.

Kristen also has a boyfriend. Oh, joy! While she possesses all of the wisdom of the universe, her alleged mother and I have felt it best to teach her the virtues of abstinence. This is always uncomfortable, and I am quite relieved you will be handling this in the future. May I suggest that you reinstate Dr. Jocelyn Elders who had a rather good handle on the problem.

Patrick is 14. I've had my suspicions about this one. His eyes are a little closer together than those of normal people. He may be a tax examiner himself one day if he is not incarcerated first. In February, I was awakened at three in the morning by a police officer who was bringing Pat home. He and his friends were toilet papering houses. In the future, would you like him delivered to the local IRS office or to Washington DC?

Kids at 14 will do almost anything on a dare. His hair is purple. Permanent dye, temporary dye, what's the big deal? Learn to deal with it. You'll have plenty of time, as he is sitting out a few days of school after instigating a food fight in the cafeteria. I'll take care of filing your phone number with the vice-principal.

Oh yes, he and all of his friends have raging hormones. This is the house of testosterone, and it will be much more peaceful when he lives in your home. DO NOT leave him or his friends unsupervised with girls, explosives, inflammables, inflatables...read more

HEALTH ISSUES

I am having abdominal issues and from the first test run (CT) it isn't looking good. There is fluid in my belly and everything I read that is not good news, Have a MRI scheduled in one week but there is quite a bit of pain and there doesn't seem any urgency on anyone's part but mine. I need prayers that this isn't what it looks like and its treatable. I know this isn't a surprise to God - I need faith and trust to know He will get me through whatever I face.

-Pam