"Agenda Energy"
Welcome to the weekend going into Valentines Day—and just to live up to my contrariness—I'm going to forgo the standard hearts and flowers and opt for another way for us to take care of Our Selves.
Let's explore what I call "Agenda Energy"(2:50). It often begins with the best of intentions and yet when we approach a moment with this energy, we're looking for some kind of outcome or payoff—even if it's a subtle one. There's a stickiness to it—ultimately ingenuine. It's conditional and because of that, the moment gets skewed and compromises the very outcome we're hoping for.
This upcoming "weekend of romance" is a great example of agenda energy. There's a forced, obligatory vibe to it—as if this is the only day and way to celebrate love. Tried (or is it tired?) and "true" tokens are a must: flowers, candy, jewelry, "heartfelt' cards and sometimes even an elaborate marriage proposal are all part of the package.
Don't get me wrong, these are all lovely gestures in and of themselves. Yet—when they're attached to some quality of hoped for outcome, we're in the land of expectations, and that rarely skews to our advantage.
